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Sunday, November 02, 2008

am i still the little child that you can still hit and scold, expecting me to just conform and suffer in silence. this is no capital punishment anymore, it is just abuse. there are no rights for me in my freedom of expression in such cases. i dont care if it is being rude, a case whereby defiance towards an elder, because you are being absolutely irrational in this case, venting your displeasure unto me.

this somehow links to what someone had said. after watching one of this televison show- super mummy (or something like that), where the child who performs the task best reflects on the ability of the mother. which translates that the mother who is best at instilling and making sure the child follows whatever she does. Somehow, linking the child as a pet that will follow mindlessly whatever the owner demand them to do huh?
well, of course, people may argue that the mother obviously is doing whatever she deem best for the child, and trying to 'teach' the child so that whatever he/she does, will be good. but the case is different, when the mother DEMANDS the child to do. notice the point? instead of demanding, in which failure to perform the task begets punishment, why do we not guide them? just because guiding is a very tedious process and ordering is a quick and easy way to get what you wanted, do you realise that the results will differ?
well, in some cases, no differences by the time when the child is too afraid to stand up on his/her own, or too supressed to speak up, which is evident in countries where to children do not have much education, like rural china, vietnam etc. or else, the parents are too simply barbaric, and in the other words, over bearing that nothing can be done against them. pity them.

if you want me to accept what you do to me and what you 'want' of me, be fair and treat my brothers and sisters the same as you are to me. so what if how to treat me has led me to become what i am now. and what you didnt do to them that results in their 'imperfection' in their character which you just simply accept and do nothing, not caring (ironically).
there are alot to be done, alot to be taught to him, instilled in him.
i can do nothing, as you have said, so its up to you. it is NOT my fault that he is like this, neither am i going to let way for whatever shit he did, please, please make sure that he do something useful. i cant stand being the one for the shit he had done.
responsibility in this case is NULL.
and you, my brother, such disrespect you have given me, dont ever think you deserve that much, cause its too many wrong to be right, ever again. you are just someone living in the same house as me, with the same surname, and maybe, same blood. but you and i are completely in different world.

but, i who am human after all, cant stay this mean for long. but i just hate the way this always happens every time,over and over again and it sucks big time.
i dont know if i should be nice or not towards the future. whether i will even bother. but deep inside, the answer is pretty obvious, as after all, they are still family. but the extent will how the kind of person i am.
i shall be magnanimous. be the good guy eh? the submissive one eh? not really complementary with being a modernised independent woman eh.

oh well :(
i guess this is not up to me so much so that even i am turning eighteen, and in your point of view, old enough to be married off. thanks alot.